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Another Lesson Learned

Updated: Jun 14, 2023

I love to learn new things and I am always reading or pursuing things that interest me. It keeps life, and hopefully me, interesting. But I have also learned many lessons from my grandson and one in particular has really stuck with me. For some reason I woke up this morning and remembered this conversation. A couple of years ago I made a decision to stop coloring my hair and let the gray come through. I was not only comfortable with it but really started to like how it looked. One day my then 6 year old grandson was staring me and asked if I wanted his help to color my hair to cover the gray. My first reaction was worry. Do I look awful without coloring? Are people thinking that but would never say it (unlike a child)? Maybe I should color it now and grow it out when I am older? How old should I be to let it go au natural? I got caught up in my head quickly before but then took a minute to think of a response. I thanked him and told him what a great kid he was for asking if I needed his help. I told him if I decided to do that I would definitely reach out to him. He was beaming! I then asked him if he thought I would look better if I did color it? He said no and he loved how I looked. When he noticed my confused look, he explained his thoughts. "When people have gray or white hair it means they are getting old. When people get old they go to heaven. I love you and I don't want you to go to heaven". I was so surprised it took me a minute to speak. I spent some time assuring him my plan was to be here for a really long time and told him how much I loved him. I felt bad such that such a thought even crossed his mind and boy, this one short conversation with a 6 year old really made me think. If I had not asked more questions I would believe he did not like my hair (yes I know that sounds trivial but please stay with me). How often is something said by someone we know and care for, whether in person, email, text or even on social media that can send us to down the rabbit hole. We may be triggered and have angry or hurt feelings without really knowing what the person meant. Maybe they meant something much different than we have taken it. Maybe it doesn't have anything to do with us at all. If we are bothered by it, why aren't we comfortable just asking so we can truly understand where that person is coming from? If we feel it is directed at us we should be asking and not ignoring things because those feelings fester. If it isn't about us then why should we let it affect us at all? We need to be better at talking with each other and not at each other. If we want to have authentic relationships we need learn how to communicate with each other mindfully and with respect. It may not always be easy or comfortable but aren't we worth it? Some things cannot be learned from a book and we might just need a child to remind us to go back to basics. Another lesson learned. Thank you Wyatt. ❤

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