I am all done with "should-posed to"
Ok. I know “should-posed to” is not a real word in your house but it is in mine. In fact, it is one of my 5 year old grandson’s favorite words. It means exactly what you may think it does…a cross between should and supposed to. He uses it frequently and I don’t correct him because I think he’s adorable and the word always makes me smile. He will tell me not to forget things like saying “God Bless you” after someone sneezes, or remembering to put his school folder back in his backpack every morning because, “Nana, you should-posed to”. Last week as we were getting close to Christmas he used the word about something random he thought we needed to do and for some reason it really sparked something deep inside me. In a flash (or an Oprah, Aha minute) I realized I have spent my whole life doing things I thought I should do or I felt I was supposed to. I have been the Queen of “should-posed to”. Whether it was in my family life, business or social life, I have done things so many times feeling obligated to do so and not because I wanted or needed to do so. I have always considered myself a nice person and that is what nice people do, right? In that one minute, hearing his made up word, I really felt a profound shift in my thinking. I was ready to acknowledge my pattern of behavior and understand what I need to do to break it. I can say no when I want to and not feel bad about it. I am not responsible to try and fix things for those around me. What kind of an ego do I have to think I should? Most importantly, my first obligation is always to myself. If I am tired or overbooked I can give myself a break, kick back and not judge myself negatively for doing so. What a concept! Now, before making a commitment, I will ask myself is this in the interest of my highest good? If it is then I am okay with it. I give myself permission to focus on doing things that are good for me and not feel guilty about my own choices that support this. I realize that many of my decisions were not because anyone else expected them from me… my feelings were ones I put on myself. I am now moving into this next decade in a different mindset with the help of my favorite little boy and his powerful, made up word. I am entering 2020 no longer paying attention to “should-posed to”. I hope you are too. Happy 2020!